The Grumpy Cat

He has never heard of the word smile and has obviously never tried it once either. Always in a grumpy mood, your cheerful bubbly attitude will be transformed into a sour lemon once you’ve even seen his name. He has the magical power of making even the joker want to wring his neck.  Every time you are around him, you wish you could slip a few happy pills in his coffee. 

Office love

His second name spells ‘stalker’ or maybe that’s his first. He befriends you on Facebook, follows you on twitter, connects on LinkedIn, comments on your blog and has the nerve to make it on your WhatsApp list as well, all in the name of ‘business’. He’s the lost puppy enthralled by your enchanting entrepreneur skills. You are just apprehensive that he might someday pop up with the question all owing to your professional behaviour. Little does he know you are the human version of Garfield in the comforts of your home.

Mr. Fire & Ice

He appreciates your work, he’s thankful for all the sleepless nights you have given his project, he is happy you have met the deadline. You are happy until the bomb is dropped. He mails the next day with a minor change needed in level one, then he comes with another amend and by the end of the day, you have more mails from him than the sky has stars! He flips like two sides of a coin, one week he’s sweet and nice and the other week you are just a machine to him, wonder what follows in the other days.

Ms. Know It All

She has lived longer than Edward Cullen and Damon Salvatore combined together! She is like your nosy grandmother who wants to know every minute of the time you are spending on her project. And if that attention wasn’t enough she pretends as if she has specialized in every course that has seen the face of this earth. She seems like the daughter of Chacha Choudhary whose brain not only works faster than a computer but is more like a search engine. Having her around is sometimes very helpful but mostly it feels like a nagging wife who has advice to offer even on the way you breathe.

The Invisible Man

14 days that’s exactly how long you have until the deadline, you start off the very same of the brief. The motivation and encouragement the meeting gave you was enough to drive you to have a week of sleepless nights, sweating it off to make it the best deal ever. But Bang! In the middle is a big doubt you need to clarify Asap. You call, email, visit the client but alas he’s on a tighter schedule than even Bill Gates. All you ever hear is ‘Sir, is unavailable at the moment’.  Sometimes you genuinely believe he has borrowed Harry Potter’s invisible cloak. As infuriating as it is, you keep working but that one minor distraction leaves you in a muddle and down goes your near-to-perfect project. 

The Ideal Client

He greets you pleasantly, always has a smile on his face and doesn’t matter if you have crossed the deadline or are the reason for a major loss. He is sweet and kind, offers his help whenever you ask for it. He is there 24×7 if you need to clarify a doubt or address an issue. And the best part ‘He doesn’t exist!’

Doctors yet haven’t found a cure for ‘clientcopia’(To cope with difficulties with difficulties of a client attaining professional services and act to overcome them, despite that client’s blatant stupidity) so the only option remains is to vent your frustration either on the punching bag or the dart board or better still call up that best friend and pour your heart out. They would have far more abuses to hurl in his face than you could think of!  And if you just happen to be the one that has the ‘perfect’ client, you better enjoy it before it’s too late. 

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